Yes, the No Doubt frontwoman and’ 90 s alt icon is reportedly due to marry a country music vocalist and reality TV host by the name of Blake Shelton. Childhood ruined. “>
Were the 90 s the best decade ever? Current culture tendencies seem to suggest universal nostalgia for those halcyon, pre-Y2K days of yore; a hour when there was a slap bracelet on every wrist and a Nintendo 64 in every garage. Memories of the 90 s are everywhere, from Winona Ryders Stranger Things comeback to MTV Classics Daria and Beavis& Butthead -heavy lineup. Then there are the widespread style fads, like goth-lite makeup and normcorewho knew that male models in 2016 would garment like your daddy in 1994?
According to the metric of how many girls in East Williamsburg look like extras from The Craft , it seems that 90 s mania is here to stay. But theres significant evidence that the dream of the 90 s is simply a collective hallucination. First of all, theres the inescapable truth that no quantity of nostalgic consumption or content creation can bring back our shared innocence or economic prosperity. Wearing mama jeans isnt going to stimulate the shittiness of 2016 disappear, and watching Clueless on a loop wont erase the fact that Stacey Dash is a transphobic Fox News contributor. Harry Potter is over, the Spice Girls are never genuinely getting back together, and Sarah Jessica Parker doesnt even call herself a feminist.
But no current pop culture misfortune signals the 90 s death knell quite like the semi-recent coupling of Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. After meeting on situated, The Voice coaches announced suspiciously simultaneous divorces from their high-profile spouses. Having divide from Gavin Rossdale and Miranda Lambert, respectively, the 90 s alt-punk icon and country crooner started indulging in some serious PDA. Before you could say who cares? the NBC-approved duo was publicly going steady. Almost nine months later, the couple has given birth to their first marriage rumors, with Us Weekly reporting that marriage planner Jerri Woolworth has been hired for the impending nuptials.
We miss the old Gwen Stefani. The worlds last ska princess burst onto the pop-punk scene in the 90 s as the lead singer of No Doubt, a rare female-fronted band. As one of the only girls invited to the sausage party, Stefani earned an army of fans for her femme fearlessness. She rocked red lipstick and platinum blonde tress while rocking out, refusing to sacrifice personal style or self-expression to fit in. Situated between the palatable girl power of the Spice Girls and the hardcore offerings of the Riot Grrrl movement, No doubt Just a Girl remains a feminist anthem to this day, and an asset to pregame and workout playlists everywhere.
Stefani was one of the original multi-hyphenates, balancing No Doubt, a solo career, and her style label, L.A.M.B. Even when she was a little off, she was still a trendsetter. She pioneered brightly colored hair, harvest tops, and tartan, and was rocking drop-crotch pants and white dreads long before they became college freshman staples. Today, hiring a crew of Harajuku girls to follow your whiteness around all day likely wouldnt fly. But damned if Stefanis problematic phase didnt give us Rich Girl, Wind It Up, and Hollaback Girl, the lyrics of which I could not forget even if I tried. And while we really wish Gwen Stefani hadnt worn so many bindis, at least she doesnt belong to the current generation of culture appropriators who really should know better.
Gwen Stefani was never perfect, but she spoke to the raw potential of the 1990 s, a decade when celebrities were genuinely original and any daughter could grow up to be a stone starring. Thats why, for any true No Doubt diehard or Harajuku lover, the current state of Stefani is so disheartening. Twenty years ago, Stefani was crooning Dont Speak, a ballad about her breakup with No Doubt bassist Tony Kanal, alongside her former beau and bandmate. Thats badass. These days, she can be heard singing her Blake Shelton country collab, Go Ahead and Break My Heart. The couple even performed their track on The Voice , grinning and staring at one another, their faces basking in the incandescence of seamless cross-promotion. Thats right: Gwen Stefani has gone country.
But Blake Shelton isnt simply any country idol. The famously candid starring recently arrived under fire for basically endorsing Donald Trump, telling Billboard , A lot of people are pulling for him , no matter how much Hollywood fights it. I consider people who dont like him go and beat up people that do like him. You tell me, whos crazy here ?… I likely wish there was another option, but theres not. When Shelton received the appropriate quantity of backlash for supporting a trigger-happy Cheeto, he instantly pivoted. In a still unsatisfactory follow-up tweet, Shelton wrote, Hey before this gets running like it always does … I havent enforced ANYBODY for chairman. And I not going to. I dont do that shit.
Yes, the 90 s queen who taught the world to spell bananas is dating a human who doesnt know the difference between endorse and enforce. Its like Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano on My So-Called Life , except its 2016, and illiteracy isnt cute anymore. Neither is voting for Donald Trump. To his credit, Shelton understands that this romantic pairing is an odd ideabut fails to offer a compelling justification for why Stefani is still slumming it. Lets remember: This is a woman who wore a dip-dyed pink gown to her first bridal. Whatever happened to that badass icon, and why is she letting a poorly spoken Trump stan dim her glisten? Even if the bridal rumors are unsubstantiated, this relationship is already the final nail in the 90 s coffin. Dont listen to the Pokmon Go think piecesthe 90 s are dead, and theyre never coming back.
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