An Open Letter To My Ex: 100 People Confess The Powerful, Heartbreaking Things They’ve Been Afraid To Say Until Now


Found on AskReddit.


When you begged me to come back to you….I should have.


I cut your name into my arm with a knife when I found out that you were pregnant with another mans baby and I’ll kill myself if you ever find out.


You’re both the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me. Also, I miss you.


I think I was in love with you and wish I would’ve had the balls to say it.


Ive been extremely depressed since our relationship endedI let you think I’m doing well even though I miss you.


I wish that you hadn’t been my first love.


Although you never came right out and said it, I know that you blame me for our daughter’s death. And that’s ok, because I do too.


I forgive you, but you are so full of anger that I will never be able to stand you.


You are the standard I set for hopeful others, and that’s why I’ve been single since.


I now actively wish ill upon you (my definition of hate) because of the horrible way you treated me before, during, and after our breakup. And there’s only one other person in my entire life that I hate.


You completely broke my confidence, made it extremely hard to have sex with anyone new for a few months, and youre a spoiled, pampered, woman who will never make it in the real world once daddy either passes away or cuts you off.


You dumped me BC of the distance. But what you don’t know is that I secretly applied and got accepted into your university. I was going to surprise you by mailing you my letter of acceptance, but I guess that’s out the window.


I told your PO that you were using again and I’m the reason you spent time in jail.


I lived with you for 5 years, met you through work. I loved you, you got a new job so we sold our house moved to a new state, I left my family and friends to be with you and within 3 months you left me. I still work with you in a massive company; my team was moved to the same floor as you now. You sit 50 feet away and all I want to tell you is I miss you and I love you, and mostly I’m sorry. It’s been 3 years since we broke up not a day goes by I don’t think about you, yet youre 50 feet away and I can’t even look in your direction.


Your two baby girls are waiting for you back home, if not for me at least come back sometime for them.


I honestly wish I had anything to say. I think I’ve said it all. I’m unhappy without you, we’re unhappy when we’re together.


I’m seeking help because of you. You ruined my life, shattered my confidence, self-belief, and convictions. I don’t even recognize myself anymore because of you. Worst of all, I genuinely would feel indifferent if you just dropped down dead.


You ruined me in more ways than one. And the saddest part is that you did nothing wrong. It was all me, all in my head. Oh how I wish I hadn’t gotten this because I ruined everything that could have been for us.


I don’t usually hate people but you’re an exception, thanks for the PTSD, depression, anxiety, and countless other things. You’re a horrible person and you don’t deserve anything good in life. The only good that’s come out of all this is that even though I had to move away from my friends and family, I’ve finally got a job that I love, met someone who’s infinitely better than you ever will be, I’ve stopped all the bad stuff I was doing and my family are speaking to me and spending time with me again. It makes me really mad that you get to go on with your life and your actions haven’t affected you. You’re a horrible person and I hope that one day, someone will make you feel like you’ve made me feel.


I still love you. I should have moved across the country with you, I was just scared and I’ve never stopped regretting it. I still hope I’ll run into you again someday and we’ll finally get to live the happily ever after we could have.


Please get help. You’re an alcoholic, and you need it. Even your own brother hasn’t loved you in years, and while I didn’t either, I’m willing enough to honor the time we spent together to ask you to get help.


Thanks for teaching me the signs of emotional abuse. The hard way.


You’ll never understand how damaging you were to my mental health. I truly, sincerely hope you’re never happy.


I miss the dog more.


You used me for my money and as a way to get cheap accommodation. But I thank you for putting me on the path to meeting my current girlfriend. She is the love of my life and makes me happier than you, or any other girlfriend ever has.


I hate how it all went down. i’m sorry if i hurt you on the way. i still think about you from time to time and remember the great times we’ve had. i hope you are doing well and you are’s been quite some time since we saw each other and i don’t know how you think about me and our time. just hoping that you are ok and living a great life 🙂


I hope you’re happy, honestly. I’m glad we knew each other, it enriched my life.


Im glad you got fat as hell.


Thanks for letting me go in raw. That was nice of you.


I thought I was the one that fucked up. Now that a few years have passed, I can see exactly what tricks you pulled and how it made seem like the bad person because you were too cowardly to let me know what you thought.


I throw away most of your mail.


I’m sorry for being such a self-righteous prick.


You told me at the start of the relationship that you were lucky you found a smart girl and that you had to be careful because you had a strong and independent girl now. I didn’t change, so why did you?


I’m torn on this. I wish I would have never met you, let alone married you. However, that series of events led me down a long chain reaction of events through a horrible addiction and into sobriety. This has made me who I am today. I despise you and the pain you caused me but had I not, my life would be completely different.


The more I think about you, the more I understand how sick you were.


When I loved you, you were always on my mind. When I hated you, you were always on my mind. When I finally became apathetic towards you, I found myself and moved on. Oh, and when I loved and hated you at the same time? That was jealousy. Thanks for helping me figure all that out.


I honestly loved you so much I would have followed you back to your country. What you did to me completely redirected my life. I was ready to settle down and build a life but now I want to run. So thanks for reminding me that I’m awesome by myself.


You’re the reason I’m not depressed anymore.


I hope you fail your thesis again. Your writing sucks.


I miss your parents more than I’ll ever miss you. They were so good to me.


Please give me a second chance. 🙁


Thank you for ending it: you had the courage to say we were both unhappy and it made me look at my issues and work on them.


I am in the most perfect relationship ever right now with the most wonderful girl and I am trying my hardest not to fuck it up but the damage you did to my confidence is making that real fucking hard. She could be smiling and laughing and my head would still be going, Is she really happy or misleading you? And the cherry on top of the cake. You knew my biggest dream in life is to be married and have kids and you tell me I wouldn’t make a good husband or dad. Thanks for that. Definitely hasn’t been weighing on me.


I would do it all again.


I’m sorry for loving you but not fully trusting you. I made a mistake and admitted to it, then immediately began working on ensuring that never happens again. I’m fucked-up and have trust issues. But I’m spending time, energy, and money on fixing myself.

You’ve had a fucked-up life, and I’m sorry you’ve been through the things you’ve been through. You deserve to be happy, but you can’t keep running away from your problems. Shit happens. No one is perfect, and you are a fucking coward for running the second we faced a challenge.

I love you, and I know you love me. I hope you realize this is a mistake. If not, I truly do hope you find happiness. You are still my best friend and I miss you every single day.


As much as I regret dating you, if given the opportunity I wouldn’t change anything. Because of the way you treated me, because of your gas-lighting, manipulation, cruelty and lies I chose to be stronger. To be better. I will NEVER let you or anyone else control me again.

I am now a wife to an amazing husband, who I know I wouldn’t have given the time of day had I not dated such a piece of shit like you. I love my husband more fiercely than anything. He treats me like a goddess, and I love every moment I have with him. So, thank you. Thank you for letting me see how truly bad things can get. Without you, I wouldn’t fully appreciate how fucking amazing my life is today.

Oh, and also…every breath you take is a waste of perfectly good oxygen. You may have the rest of the world convinced you are a good, god-fearing man, and a doting husband and father, but I see right through you. Fuck you.


While i may not have put enough effort in towards the end, because i thought i wanted something else and now i realize i should have been happy with you because i realize in hindsight youre perfect…


But if you ever wanted to get back together i might seriously think about it because i love you and i might never not.


Im not the broken person you think I am/was.


I know that you didn’t suddenly develop feelings for the guy that you started hanging out with on the tail end of our relationship after we broke up. You started dating a week after we broke up. It was never supposed to be a break, it was not about trying to fix us. It was you being too much of a pussy to tell me to my face that you wanted to break up and go be with the guy who you had no feelings for even though you hung out with him sometimes more than me. (until 3 am one time for Christs sake.) You are the reason I am depressed, and even still I am not over you.


I’m glad we ended it. Not because I’m bitter, but because we’ve both moved on to meet people who make us much happier than we ever made each other.


I am sorry. I broke your heart and you broke mine too but I know I am responsible for your downward spiral after I broke it off. I was the only stability that you had, and when it came down to it, I chose to give up on you and save myself. I have to live with the decision that saved one of us but I wish it would have been you. I could have handled the circumstances you were put in, and I’m sorry you had to go through a Murphy’s law series of events that left you where you are. I am married now, and I’m not sorry we broke up, but I am sorry I failed you when you needed me.


Every single thing on your makeup counter, in your travel bag, your toothbrush, your house keys, your car dongle, all of it. It has ALL been up my ass.


You’re loving, but with a harsh judgement and you offer little room for error.


You taught me what I don’t want in a relationship. You’re a huge fuckup and a huge waste of time, but I don’t regret it because now I know what I don’t want.


You’re a piece of shit for breaking up with me the way you did. But then again, it worked out because literally a month after we broke up, I got back in touch with the one that got away. He’s the love of my life and if you hadn’t done what you did, we wouldn’t have been together now. So in the end, thank you! Have a great life with your cheating girlfriend.


Your ex-husband cheated on you with your sister-in-law and you had the audacity to compare me to him constantly, which ultimately led to your decision to leave mesimply because you were still hung up on him. Newsflash sweetheart: He didn’t love you. I did. I’m sorry getting pregnant with him didn’t save your marriage, but thanks for reminding me throughout our relationship and engagement that I will never be as successful as he was. I guess a paycheck is worth more than respect, dignity, love, and good treatment.

I am not a settlement. I’m sorry I can’t provide you and your daughter with a professional salary where you can just stay at home. I know I am worth so much more than you ever placed upon me. You’re a terrible, selfish person and there is nothing you can say to justify how you treated me upon leaving. You’ll never find someone who loved you as truly as I did. You took me for granted and I hope that you reap every bit of what you have sown.


I realized a few days ago that I love the bike I bought after our breakup more than I ever loved you.


I loved the ugliest part of you that even you didn’t love. I loved the part of you that would make most people run away screaming because to me, those were the most human parts of younot the perfect image you let the world see. I didn’t understand why you never appreciated me or tried to love me back; I blamed myself for your lack of affection. When you left me, I thought I would die without you but surprisingly, I survived.

I thought I would never love again but I did. My fianc loves me unconditionally and has shown me a thousand times what it means to be in a stable, healthy relationship. I finally realize why you were so scared to love me. Now, I just pity you whenever I see you because you will never know what it is to be vulnerable, yet strong.


Im sorry. Im sorry for the part that I played in making you feel like youre insane but together we were toxic, as you also made me feel the same. You made me see what I was doing to you and to myself, and Im sorry to say I changed once you were gone. I will always love you.


You fucked like a dead fish and had a creepy cat obsession.


I should have married you. That I had a ring and everything, and instead, I ran away to a different town because my self-esteem was so low. Can’t tell you now because you are happily married. Happy for you, but it hurts.


I didn’t just break up with you because I was depressed, I broke up with you because you’re an alcoholic who never showed me any affection and expected me to do everything around the house while you self-medicated with booze. And you threatened to stab someone, dude. Go to fucking rehab.


Your actions broke me to the point of attempting suicide twice. There is something fundamentally important to me that doesn’t exist anymore due to you and I can’t get it back.


Im glad you’re happy now, but I hated every second I spent by your side, you soul-destroying, Bible-thumping cunt.


You lied to me, used me, manipulated me, cheated on me, and eventually threw me away. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I got to see what I was missing and learned what I should not accept in a relationship. Because of that, I eventually found someone who really cares about me and values me. Thank you for showing me the way. Also, I’m laughing hysterically at what a train wreck your life is. I really dodged a bullet.


I trusted you, defended you, prayed for you, and blamed myself for being a shitty person for four years for not being there for the little girl. Only to find out that you cheated on me consistently while we were together and the child wasn’t even mine. That’s four years of burden and self-loathing I’m still trying to get over. Thank you.


Thanks for showing me the kind of person to avoid.


While I regret cutting things off as stupidly and dramatically as I did, man oh man did I dodge a bullet with you. Between your controlling nature and general psychosis (not that you cut, that you cut because I asked you for my goddamn cutlery back), things couldn’t have ended soon enough. Also, [hardcore communist guy we used to make fun of]? Really?


So much. How much damage I absorbed, what that did to me. How screwed up the future looks from here. How trapped I feel dealing with the crater.

Personality disorders are brutal on the people around them. It’s emotional abuse, but god help you if you say that out loud: a multitude of people with personality disorders rain fire on your head for not understanding their point of view.

It’s doubly bad if you didn’t realize you were dealing with a personality disorder, life just seems chaotic and awful without any reason for it to be so. You hope the last thing was the last thing but stiffen up because you know it’ll happen again. Every muscle is taut, every nerve is on fire. You’re exhausted just standing there, even before something happens. Again.

I screwed up. I kept forgiving and trying to restart until there wasn’t enough left of me to think or feel. That’s on me, but I still didn’t deserve it. The kids certainly don’t deserve it. And I’ll be lifting it all until I die, there is no escape now.


After all the abuse you put me through and after telling me that I’m worthless and no one will ever want to be with me, I have had two very meaningful relationships after you. I am currently still in the second one and extremely happy. Also, our mutual friends told me that you haven’t been able to keep a guy around since we broke up 4 years ago because you are so insensitive and demeaning. I would say good luck finding someone with my patience, but I know you never will.


I’m glad the guy you left me for ended up being crazy and dangerous. It made me smile rejecting you when you begged me to take you back. I really get enjoyment out of listening to you cry about how fucked up your life is and how you hate your life now that you left me.

(She asked me to marry her then told me she never loved me and only married me to create feelings she wanted to have for me and to help me win custody of my son.)


I know you’re still not over me because you’ve been running your mouth about it. You’re pathetic. You treated me like shit for years, I left when my empathy tank had finally run dry. I didn’t even cry when we broke up because I was that emotionally empty. This was years ago and you’re still butthurt that I left you? Even after everything you did? Grow up.


You check all the boxes for being a sociopath. Also, the only reason I still keep in touch when I am drunk is because I want more nudes.


There will always be an element of animosity toward you. I hate how you led me on for 3 months after you broke up with me entertaining the notion that you may get back together with me. You spent so much time highlighting my flaws and our differences that you never noticed the flowers I would buy you every week, the money I was saving to buy you a ring, and how happy I was to have you in my life. I know it sounds arrogant, and I know it sounds presumptuous. But you gave up on something really great. All because of your absolute and utter inability to communicate. Never put another man through what you put me through.


I could never talk to you. I was too afraid to tell you how I felt; I felt silly, stupid, crazy, illogical, irrational, and not like myself. I wanted to make you happy and that was .

I know you don’t think I tried but I did, and it wasn’t easy. I was abusing medication to make sure I felt OK around you but it ruined everything else.

You made me realize how silence is so much more significant, so much more important than any expression, sound, or word you could’ve said.

You said nothing and I waited and waited and waited.

I always closed our silence but you showed me how empty things truly were. I know I wasn’t enough for to happen. Sometimes, when I look back, I don’t see ; it was always and .

I hope you’re OK and I hope you’re happy and I hope you’ve forgotten me and moved on with someone nice.

Someone that makes you happy and lets you make them happy.

Someone that understands you and sees you for the amazing person you are.

Someone that you think about more than once a week.

Someone that you’ll want to call and text and talk to…a person that makes you feel like you’d want to go for it before they do.

Someone that makes you want to return their gestures and thoughtfulness, to reciprocate, and hopefully to love.


I hooked up with someone else when we were dating. It would destroy you.


The best thing you could for the people in your life is die. Youre a useless waste of space. All you do is use people and drag them down because youre unhappy with your own life and have no desire to change.


I know you cheated on me with the upstairs neighbor. I know you didn’t find me attractive in the end. And I want you to know you are the reason I spiraled into depression and put on a lot of weight and made me lose confidence in people. But also thanks to you I managed to move home, get a good job, and find the love of my life and we are happily engaged. Because thanks to you I was forced to move away from all my friends because that place reminded me of you.


You left and broke my heart in more ways than I knew were possible. The Army turned you into a hard, cold ass without a shred of the compassion and empathy that had been so much a part of who you were before you enlisted. You tried contacting me after your enlistment was done and I refused to talk to you because it still hurt too much. I regretted that decision when we reconnected decades later.

Now I’m glad because as it turns out, you have become everything I despise. We still have a strong physical attraction for each other, but dude. That is not enough to overcome your loathsome personality. I walked away this time and it felt great. Oh, and that new wife of yours? She is one dumb bitch. You are way too smart and intellectually curious to not be able to have deep conversations with her for the rest of your life. I, on the other hand, am the embodiment of living well is the best revenge.


I was the one playing pranks on your car. I stretch-wrapped it shut and a few days later I soaped the windows. I thought it was hilarious and when you ended up being pissed about it I stayed in the car and watched you clean it off without saying a word. It was hilarious then and it still is now.


I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I was in a depression. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to pull myself out of it. I’m sorry I stayed in that shithole of a job just because I was making enough money to get out of debt. I’m sorry you could not talk to me and instead talked to your coworkers who talked you out of our relationship. I’m sorry you couldn’t even try. I’m sorry you can’t see the amazing time we had together, and instead focus on the last three months. I’m sorry, but I feel sad for you.

I have only had one woman who I loved, and had one woman who said she loved me, and I believed her. That was you. I asked you not to break my heart, and you did. You left me when I needed you. I thought you were my rock, I’ve since learned that lesson. I’ve learned a lot about myself. Thank you. Thank you for making me a better man for my future wife. It hurts me to say this, but this is exactly what I needed to force myself to be better.

I gave you my heart, and you destroyed it. your other best friend apologized to me for your behavior, hell, your brother apologized to me for you, and one day, when you leave this guy (of course you will get back together with him, it’ll be a lot harder than what we went through), I hope that you can realize all the shitty gaslighting things you did to me, realize why I cannot be friends with you, and apologize to me for that, too.

Here’s to hope. But I’m not holding my breath. I miss you and wish I could stop loving you.


You taught me how to love and I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. (He killed himself our freshman year of high school.)


I see you finally found someone willing to sponsor your exit from the United States. Hope sucking an old man’s dick every day for the rest of your life is a fair price.


Your betrayal was so complete, so sudden, and so vicious that I actually developed health problems from the strain. I had a cardiac event and am on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication to manage the pain of the loss. I likely will be for a long time. Meanwhile you happily moved forward with your rebound that is 12 years younger than you are. I hope one day you hurt as badly as I have.


You took something I won’t get back, my trust. And I hope youre happy with the empty wallet you ran off with.


Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with a car. Even though i can’t drive and I’d probably miss and die. Soooooooooo.


I hope you get help and break the cycle.

You are an incredible and sweet man that has been so abused and battered in life that it led you to become an abuser. At one point in time you have to be grown and admit it may not be your fault you are how you are but it is your fault that you are doing nothing to change. Do better for yourself, you DESERVE it! You are worthy of so much more and it is possible to not end up like your father.

I will forever have love for you. I still don’t forgive you, but I would like nothing more to see you improve and be happy. Don’t victimize another girl, please. I can ultimately forgive you if I knew I will be the last one you do this to. That would be the best gift.


You’re a manipulative child, and you’re an attention whore; you always need male attention in any form of way. And you’re so blind to it that you ended up driving me away, and you’ve shattered my self-confidence as a man. I really hope you can rid yourself of that fake-ass naively cute girl act and learn to live your life without needing a guy to be your pillar.


I faked it every time, buddy.


You made me feel like I was hard to love. And i’ll never, ever forgive you for that.


Out of all the awful things that have happened in my life, you are the only one with no silver lining.


I wouldn’t care if you were to wake up in a ditch with grown men shitting on you and jumping on top of your head.


I’m being honestly truthful when I say I love the cats more and if are all in danger that they’ll be saved first.


That of all the people in history, including Hitler, Kim Jong-un, Canadians, and Phillip II, I wish you death more than anyone else. You ruined my fucking life, I lost all my confidence because of you and even after a year I can’t hold a relationship purely because I’m so worried about everything now. Fuck you.


That I think you are disgusting for naming his son the same name we had picked out for the child we lost a year beforehand. The fucked-up part is that your son and my daughter were born on the same day, two hours apart.


That you are not good-looking but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that because I didn’t want it to look like I was judging you by your looks. You always believed you were so handsome, and I was always like, of course you are!


You started all of it. The self-destruction. The stream of abusive, cheating girlfriends. You made me believe it was normal. You made me believe I was the bad guy. And I moved across the country for it. I’m in a healthy relationship now that I’m fucking up because you messed me up so much. I laughed when you found out you have a life-long illness. I hope you rot in hell.


You are a selfish, nasty piece of shit and you don’t deserve any other opportunities to do what he did to me to someone else. You should rot alone.


I’m worth more than you ever gave me. For years, I couldn’t admit to myself what you were doing was abuse and rape. It was, and you knew it. You knew you were hurting me, all the time, convincing me it was just what I deserved. You stripped me of all I valued about myself. But the best part is that I see you now for what you were. Sad, small, insecure, manipulative. The problem was always you, no matter how hard you tried to convince me I deserved all the bullshit you gave me. I got better, learned my value. And in my life, you now have none.


I think I really loved you. You were an asshole to me, you lied and manipulated at every chance you got even when you knew I didn’t deserve it, any of it. I placed more trust in you than I had anyone and I was so unbearably hurt that you just didn’t care enough to do the right thing.


What you did was abuse. And between that and your drinking problem, that is why I said what I did, that I knew would break us up. I didn’t know you’d react so poorly, and I never would have guessed your superiors would cover for you like that. I hope you get better. I hope you never treat another woman like that. Part of me hopes your life falls apart, though, you crazy, cruel bastard.

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