10 Things You Think Your Boyfriend Is Lying To You About (And He Actually Is)


1. How terrified he is of marriage.

It doesnt matter how strong your relationship is, or how deeply connected you are as a couple. To your boyfriend, the idea of promising forever is right up there with the thought of stabbing his eyeballs out with sharp pins, or self castration. That doesnt mean hell never propose. Men are more vulnerable to societal pressures than theyd like to admit, and society says that Happily Ever After comes at the cost of an engagement and a wedding. But lets be clear: Your boyfriend cum fiancwill walk down that aisle in a state or terror no matter how in love with you he is.

2. The number of women who turn him on in a given day (who arent you).

Guess what? Men get turned on as they walk down the street, as they ride the bus, as they sit at their desks, etc. They get aroused by your best friends and total strangers alike. A boob is a boob, right? But don’t expect themto be forthright about this.Whenyou catch your boyfriend checking someone else out and decide to ask, poutily, whether hes turned onby the other’s girl’sfirm ass and/or perkytits, he’s going togive you the emphatic “no” you so covet. But whathe by “no”is: YES!

3. Just how badly he wants to have a threesome.

Your boyfriend wants to have a threesome with you and another woman. Ifyouve already had one, he wants to do it again. Guys love feeling like they’re being worshipped in bed, and the only thing better than one womans naked body to set the cock-hungry mood is two sets of limbs. Entangled in all those arms and legs,hegets to feellike Hercules.He might claim to be sexuallysatisfied by your regular, one-on-one sex life, but he that would be a lie. Secretly,he’s pining for a third party to join the fun once in awhile.

4. The number of people hes slept with.

Its a well-known fact that dudes are likely to lie about the number of women theyve banged. Why? Because if they tell the truth and the numbers deemed too high, theyll get the stink eye. On the other hand,if they reveal a number that’s considered too low, they risk seemingless desirable. Far better to stay in the safe zone, which means theyll feel you out a bit before settling onthemagic number thats fall exactly within the bounds of acceptability to you.

5. How often he masturbates.

Starting froma young age, men are programmed to masturbateon the sly because they want to do it so often that they have to sneak away from day-to-day life to meet their own raging desires. As teenagers, they masturbatestealthily in theirbedrooms, in the shower, behind bleachers, andinparked cars, and those habits stick with them. It doesnt matter how often youre fucking your boyfriend. He’sdefinitely still masturbating regularly too, but heprobably wont tell you just how often for fear of making you feel inadequate.

6. What he thinks about while masturbating.

Even if your boyfriend admit tomasturbating now and then, he’sbound to tack a little disclaimer onto his confession: Dont worryI was thinking about you the time, he might say. Chances are, however, that he rarely thinks of youwhile tugging the ol’ one-eyed snake. Masturbating is a time for fantasizing, and fantasies enablemen to fuckmodels and celebrity crushes orthe hot girl atwork they’re flirting with behind your back.

7. The type of porn he likes.

If your boyfriend is honest about watching porn (trust me, he does), hes probably still lying his face off about the typeof porn he likes. Ask him to show you a clip and hell pick something totally innocuous, like a video of a hetero couple doing it doggy style. Thetruth is, your boyfriend watches some pretty fucked up shit sometimes. Why? Because its availablefor free, no lessall across the internet, so he can.

8. What he thinks about during sex with you.

When you ask your boyfriend what he thinks about while making love toyou, dont expect him to answer honestly. Hes going to tell you exactly what you need to hear, which is that he was obviously thinking about you and your hot body. Don’t be fooled.It’sjust as likely that he was thinking about his ex’sbadass bod, or some sex scene from a movie you recently watched together.

9. How he feels about strip clubs.

Even if your boyfriend doesnt frequent toplessbars, its a pretty safe bet that he likes them (and the lap dances that gowith them)not just a little, but. It’s alsohighly likely that hes patronized more than a few strip clubs in his day and spent an exorbitant amount of money during each motorboating festival. Since noneof this is information will enhance your relationship or your opinion of him as a qualityhuman, however, noneof it will everbeshared. Instead, your boyfriendwill continue to deny or at least downplay his fondness for those places where naked women willingly shove theirtitsinhisfaceall night long.

10. How wasted he got when he went out with the boys.

Guys just love to get drunk and act stupid together. If your boyfriendgoesout with the boys, expect him to be insanely hungover (and maybe a little bruised) the following day. Ask all the questions you want about what went down, but dont trust the timeline of events provided. And ifyou bother asking how many drinks or drugsheconsumed while partying with his buddies, don’t expect an accurate estimate. I promise that he’llslash thatstartling number in half, if only to avoid your judgmental sighs and lectures rooted in serious concern.

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